I've always been a wonderer. In elementary school, I pondered whether space was infinite or not in between basketball games. At home, my imagination ran freely between battling as a knight against the armies of darkness to a GI storming the beaches of Normandy to a ninja killing gangsters in New York. Things got more serious once I became addicted to Everquest and the Dragonlance series.
I soon found myself studying Celtic history, culture, and language, dabbling in Celtic magic (from D.J. Conway's classic Celtic Magic), and writing an embarrassing letter to a middle school friend bragging that I could talk to dwarves and trees. Seriously. Fortunately, Elisa thought I was joking and gave me a big hug. To up the ante, I dressed up as a druid for Halloween and school events. The outfit included a white bathrobe, a cotton ball beard, and a big stick scavenged from a dumpster. Needless to say, I had to fight off throngs of devotees asking for wisdom and miracles.
Puberty put a break on my magical aspirations. Girls weren't gonna go for a wanna-be druid in a bathrobe. For a few years, I sidelined spirituality to party. The hook-ups and drug-fueled nights were fun, but a series of spiritual awakenings set me on a different track.
At 17, I was cast into an ocean of love for an entire week. At one point, I lovingly hugged my mom and told her how much I appreciated everything she'd done for my brother and I. This was a first. She looked at me and said, "Thanks. I love you too...Are you okay?" Another highlight was when I hugged my desk in Econ class and thanked it for supporting me and all the other students over the years. Really. I wish I was joking.
That week was as cringe as it was intoxicating and launched me back onto my spiritual quest for bliss and truth. In the following years, many more awakenings followed and the allure of weekend benders and bringing home random girls faded. I wanted enlightenment, whatever that was.
At 19, I went monk mode. Left my girlfriend. Stopped partying. Got celibate and sober. I started training under the Great Dragon, Michael Wenger, from the San Francisco Zen Center. After finishing up university, I traveled to Japan and practiced under Jeff Shore and Muho Noelke. Unfortunately, I didn't get much out of it due to my hubris. Stupid me.
After backpacking around Asia and a few long retreats under a disciple of Mahasi Sayadaw, I was ordained in the Thai Forest Tradition under Ajahn Sudhiro. I spent 5 years there doing the monk thing. Wandering the countryside. Living in caves. Cleaning toilets. Dealing with the petty dramas that are temple life.
After I felt ready to move on, I disrobed and started practicing Tantra in Dhilgho Khyentse's lineage for the next 4 years. It was a magical and wild time, but the rigidity of the culture wore on me. I opted out and returned to my roots: Celtic paganism and Zen.
This site and my philosophy are a brand of Celtic paganism interwoven with the strands of my past: Zen, Thai Buddhism, Tantra, and all the other random stuff my ADHD has introduced me to over the years.
At present, I live in Thailand and work as a writer, translator, and teacher. I'm supported by my lovely wife, seven dogs, and our cat. Hopefully, a few kids to add to that list soon.
Finally, as a full disclaimer: I'm not enlightened. Not anywhere close. This site is simply me trying to convey as best as I can all that my teachers have instilled in me after 14 years and thousands of hours of practice. I hope it might be of some small benefit.