Can Zen help with depression or other mental illnesses?

A few of my friends suffer from depression and, to be honest, it’s heartbreaking to talk to them some days. I’m hit with a wave of darkness that overwhelms me. I grew up with one of them. When we were young, we played football together and he was happy and carefree. Now, he’s consumed by suffering. Can Zen help people like this?

Yes and no.

Last time, you asked me about happiness and I mentioned that people in the throes of a mental illness should avoid or minimize meditation. But that’s with a big caveat: Zen isn’t just meditation. It’s morality, concentration, and wisdom. For someone in a very dark state, here are the six basic things that I’d suggest:

#1 Uphold the Five Precepts.

Chant them every morning to remind themselves of their commitment. Chant in their mother tongue because so they can understand the meaning and then apply it to their lives. Then, try to put them into practice as best as they can.

As Ajahn Jayasaro said, virtue uplifts the mind. It does so by first building confidence. If someone consistently does what they know is wrong, they’re going to feel bad about themselves. No matter how many excuses they can muster, deep down, they know that they’re not living up to their principles. But if they do what’s right, they verify their own goodness through their actions. They don’t harm others. They take intoxicants moderately. They’re honest, even when it’s uncomfortable. They don’t take what’s not theirs.

Virtue also orders the mind. Even if someone makes a determination to drink one less soda a day, if they can do that for a month, they’ll feel accomplished and powerful. Success hinges on them saying no to soda and yes to something better. Consistently conquering themselves, even if it’s a over a miniscule thing, shows them that they do have power in their life. The paralyzing story that they’re victims of their impulses dissolves. Instead, they begin to see themselves as masters.

Another important function of the precepts: it keeps a person from going off the rails. Infidelity ruins lives. Stealing can land a person in jail or out of a job. Lying will cost them relationships. Gossips stirs drama. And intoxicants can push people teetering on the edge into the abyss.

Finally, it protects others from harm. A person in such a low state can’t expect for sunshine and rainbows to appear in their wake. They’ll be an unpleasant person to be around for those close to them, but at least they won’t be harming them in any gross ways. That’s a victory in-and-of-itself.

#2 Give back.

No matter how poor, how down-and-out, how much of a low-point they’ve reached, they can always give something. In the Nazi concentration camps, even whilst on the brink of starvation, whilst all humanity is being stripped from them, whilst facing cruelty and deprivation, there were small acts of kindness. A smile. Slipping a piece of bread to a sickly cell mate. Offering a few uplifting words. If you read the stories of many of the survivors, the one’s that pulled through made a refuge of hope and charity. Everyone can do that.

When I was a teenager, I found a “do good coin” from my Boyscout days. My job was to go out of my way to do one good thing for someone every day. It could be complimenting someone on how beautiful their writing was, helping a friend clean-up after lunch, or picking-up trash laying around. I kept the coin in my right pocket and every time I did my good deed for the day, I’d put it in my left pocket. It sounds silly, but it worked.

Structure makes generosity sustainable. If I say I’m going to be more generous but don’t have any structures to make that happen, count on it being forgotten about in a month.  Keeping a “do good coin” in the pocket’s good, but even better is regularly volunteering skills to an organization or group. If they’re a lawyer, for example, do pro bono work on the weekend. If they’re in graphic design, contact groups that run workshops for kids or offer them to a local school. If they love animals, volunteer at a dog shelter and spend a few hours a week taking dogs for walks and playing with them out in the yard. The key point, though, is to make it a habit.

The other important factor in volunteering is that it connects them to others and forms community. Community is one of the most powerful motivating forces in the human psyche. If they’ve got a bunch of friends at the place they volunteer at who they know’ll miss them if they don’t show up, you can be sure that they’re gonna make that extra effort to be there. Also, the community makes tangible their good acts. If someone just sends off a regular donation automatically every month to the UN, they have no clue what live’s they’re changing, even if they read the monthly newsletters. Seeing the joy of a dog wagging his happy tail after a long walk is sticks with them and keeps them coming back for more. It also takes them out of the constant “me-me-me and my problems” thinking that’s wrecking so much havoc.

#3 Good friends.

This applies to everyone everywhere, but they should also find decent friends. I say decent because most healthy people will flee from someone on the verge of a psychological breakdown. Most people put in so much time and effort when it comes to finding their romantic partner. Lists. Hiring a consultant. Signing up for courses on how to date. Yet look at how little interest there is in friendship? But friends are nearly as important as a partner. If they surround themselves by noble individuals that uplift him, hold him accountable, don’t take his nonsense, and care about him, it’ll go a long way in healing his broken spirit.

Read the stories of Medal of Honor recipients. None of them say that they did it to further the strategic mission of the United States. None of them say that they did it for freedom or to spread Democracy. They did it because they loved the men that survived months of shit in a foxhole by their side. That’s what inspires heroism: love for the man next to you, more than anything else. That’s also what pulls most folks through their darkest hours: that someone will be sad to see them gone.

#4 Grounding activities.

For folks with serious mental illnesses, like clinical depression, meditation is unwise. However, there are other activities which quiet the mind and are less risky. These are grounding activities, or activities which take them from the abstract to the concrete, from thinking to sensing, from passive consumption to active creation. Examples include gardening, cleaning, football, painting, carpentry, and playing the guitar.

#5 Study.

Casual studying to cool the mind is popular throughout much of Asia. When most of my friends are down, their go-to is a Dharma talk. One friend puts in headphones and lies on her bed as she listens to the soothing voice of Ajahn Paisan. Another friend walks around the track while listening to another monk expound the way. For those struggling, listening or reading Dharma is a safe option. Listening calms the mind and allows the theory and practice to saturate their thinking. There is, however, a risk of Dharma talks stirring up thoughts, inviting negative comparisons, or sparking a thirst for an enlightenment that they’re not ready for, so some caution is needed here.

Serious study, though, is also helpful. Memorize poems, texts, chants, and lineage charts. Turn over important concepts in the mind. Imagine creative ways to repackage familiar ideas. Organize concepts based on color and relation. Serious study harnesses the intellectual faculties which wreak havoc when unrestrained and, instead, directs them towards the dharma. It also has the added benefit of developing thinking skills, like memory, analysis, organization, and creativity, which can be used in other areas of one’s life.

#6 Meditation.

Don’t push meditation. For those with serious mental health problems, it might be best to avoid formal meditation altogether. Grounding activities, hanging out with good friends, and giving back are far better than trying to meditate for almost all of the folks in this category. It’s even worse if the person’s a talented meditator because deep meditative states can disorient. One friend of mine dissociated after they had their first taste of deep meditation and nearly texted a close friend, “Can we meet so you can tell me that I still exist?” This wasn’t someone teetering on the edge of the abyss. They were a successful music producer and a level-headed practitioner who had one of their first tastes of deep meditation. Imagine if that happened to someone with suicidal depression? They might feel relief briefly, but it’d be reeeeeeeeeeal ugly when they crashed back down.

Virtue, generosity, grounding activities, study, and meditation are all Zen. It’s not just meditation and not just having a breakthrough into the fundamental nature of reality. Those things aren’t useful for folks struggling to just hang on.

I’ve heard stories, though, of people going onto Zen retreats with depression or addiction who came out a completely transformed person.

Some are true. I’ve heard it from others. I’ve seen it. I’ve been to their websites and seen the testimonials.

“After a 10-day retreat with Master Blahblahblah, I discovered the ocean of serenity that is my true nature. My struggling marriage fixed itself. My addictions vanished. I’ve been reborn. Thank you so much!”

Who puts on their website “This retreat was a huge waste of money. The only thing I got out of it was sore hips and knees. Never doing this garbage again.” What about “I was in a dark place and hoping that this retreat would help. It didn’t. It made things worse. Isolated and stuck with the monster that is my mind, I perilously danced on the edge of suicide for days before I realized I wasn’t going to make it to the end if I didn’t pull the plug. I fled in the middle of the night and will never do a retreat like this for years to come.” I know that Master Blablahblah gets these reviews but, guess what, they ain’t putting that up on the website.

I advise caution when dealing with fragile minds because the risks and costs are high and there are better options available. If a person goes into a retreat just hanging onto a sense of sanity and then they breakdown, it might take them months or even years to recover. Some will take their lives. For others, it might be the catalyst for a downward spiral of drug abuse and neglect that will land them on the street or living in poverty for years to come. An ounce of prevention’s better than a pound of cure.

That said, all of these suggestions are general but mental illnesses are diverse. Some activities can interact in surprising and destructive ways with chronic conditions. Visualization and mantra practice, for example, might exacerbate schizophrenics. Body practices might trigger someone with serious trauma. This is something that needs much more research, but at present our knowledge is very limited. As such, Zen is best practiced in consultation with a trusted professional, but not everyone has that luxury. The principles above are for those in the latter category.

When you asked me initially, I said that Zen can and can’t help people with mental illnesses. I just explained how it can help, but here’s the why it can’t help: Zen needs to stay in its lane. There are four areas of development: growing up, showing up, cleaning up, and waking up. Zen is a waking up system. That doesn’t mean that Zen’s disconnected from the other quadrants. Everything’s interconnected and different is different. If you’re a chess prodigy who’s spent 20,000 hours playing the game, you can apply those skills to other situations: relationships, engineering problems, finances, even meditation. However, being an expert in chess doesn’t make you an amazing boyfriend, engineer, financial adviser, or meditator. The same applies to waking up. Waking up will help you do everything better, but it doesn’t mean you’ll do everything well.

One of my old teachers, a highly accomplished scholar, author of dozens of books, and meditation master couldn’t fix his own fridge. Now, now, you might scoff and say, “Yea, but that’s really complex.” Not in his case. One morning, he noticed a pool of water around the fridge. When he opened it, he saw that the light and cooling unit didn’t work. He looked at the radiator to see if there were any problems. None. He tried wiggling the settings. Nothing. He gave it the classic BANG-BANG. Nope. After about an hour, he gave up and called a mechanic to come out. When the mechanic arrived, he walked to the fridge, looked it over, reached down, and plugged it back in. Miraculously, it was working again!

That teacher was out of his lane, but he did try, bless him. He’s not alone. Another friend of mine is an out-of-this-world meditator but she can’t manage her money nor career to save their life. My mom, on the other hand, was a knot of anxiety growing up but managed money like a pro and was organized and in command of her life. Waking up doesn’t solve all of your problems, it solves one: ignorance about the nature of reality.

Serious psychological issues fall into the cleaning up category. These problems require particular knowledge, skills, and views to solve, and it’s not what Zen was made for. Folks struggling with these issues should consult with professionals or seek out approaches tailored for their particular illness. Since this is out of my lane, it’s on the individual to find better systems for healing.

When I was helping my ex look for a therapist, though, I saw a few offering “Zen therapy,” but according to you that’s an oxymoron. Zen’s about waking up and therapy’s about healing the psyche. How can these two meet?

I can’t speak to the specifics of that, but bear in mind that it’s Zen and therapy. Zen is a set of theories, tools, and views which can be repurposed for all ends. There’s Zen writing, Zen editing, Zen presenting, Zen conversation. Those things aren’t Zen, rather they use some aspect of Zen.

Imagine, for instance, that you took sheet metal from an old car and created an abstract steel statue. Is that statue a metal a car?

No.

Can you say that it’s a statue made from a car?

Yes.

The same is true of Zen. Zen is a vehicle for awakening with innumerable parts. Some want to use the vehicle as it’s designed, others modify it, others strip it apart, use the parts that they want, and discard the rest. A philosopher might come to Zen and do a deep-dive on Nagarjuna and Dogen. An artist might find new approaches to their craft. Teachers might take the direct, irrational teaching style and try it on their students. Those things aren’t Zen but use parts of Zen.

Is it right for them to call it Zen therapy or Zen drawing?

No. Zen is morality, concentration, and wisdom. A car isn’t its engine, frame, doors, seats, or wheels. Zen isn’t just “being in the present moment” or “trusting your intuition” or “leaping beyond the rational mind.” Those are all parts, but not the whole. By calling things Zen therapy or Zen archery, it confuses the public. They then think that Zen’s just singlemindedness, spontaneity, leaping beyond good and evil, etc. This misunderstanding then blinds them to its holistic nature. It also encourages seeing Zen as a panacea to all problems. Got a car to fix? Zen’s got your back. A dysfunctional relationship? Zen’ll fix it! A shattered spirit? Zen can put you back together!

Zen is not a panacea. It won’t fix your car, your damaged marriage, nor your broken spirit. It will, however, develop within you a life of integrity, a steady mind, and a deep insight into the fundamental nature of reality. These are beautiful ends, but we need not collapse them with everything else.

The rebranding of Zen as archery or motorcycle maintenance isn’t all bad. Many of the people who write these books or create these techniques are well-intentioned. Many are devoted Zen practitioners. However, being well-intentioned is no guarantor of acting rightly. Conflating terms confuses people and should stop. So should the myth that Zen is the medicine for all cures. It’s not. Zen is about waking up. For everything else, look elsewhere for guidance.