Why We Need Groups to Thrive: An Introduction

A tree in isolation grows crooked; a tree in a forest grows straight.
The sprawling oak towering lone in a field is a magnificent sight, and today as two thousand years ago, such specimens have attracted admiration and devotion. Located on the grounds of Birr Castle, the Carroll Oak is one example of the lonely giant archetype. Another example is the Silken Thomas Yew, reportedly planted when crusaders were busy driving the Muslims from the Holy Land and purging heretics from within Europe’s interior. It stands among the pedicured grounds of Maynooth University, its branches veining the air dozens of meters around, its wildness defying the bland lawns. It is a truly sacred site.

These images are inspiring, but they are also extremely rare and, in most cases, unnatural. The Silken Thomas Yew stands alone because groundskeepers work to keep the lawns a pristine field of green. Arborists regularly visit to check on the health of the tree and suggest interventions in case of disease or stress. It’s not exactly the most natural phenomenon.

Other yews or oaks that tower amidst the Irish hills share a similar existence. They stand because they were spared centuries of pasturing and farming. Were it not for human intervention, the Carroll Oak would be one amidst a sea of other ancient oaks. Its spread would not be so dramatic, its profile less arresting, and its existence less precarious. Rather than being the centerpiece, it would be but a tile in the centerless mosaic of an old-growth forest. There, visitors would not see beauty, like a neatly framed picture in a museum, but be plunged in it.

For most tree species, growing in seclusion is difficult, if not impossible. Most seeds will wither away before ever sprouting. Those that do sprout face an uphill battle against hostile soil and unrelenting exposure to the elements before reaching adulthood. Of those that reach maturity, life is a struggle. The towering oak atop a hill makes for an excellent oil painting, but it’s bad nature.

Life in the forest is better. A company of oaks mixed in with other flora and fauna provides greater protection against the vagaries of weather, strengthens root systems, and offers soil primed with microbes and minerals accumulated over centuries. In such circumstances, oaks flourish.

The human spirit is little different. We thrive in community and wither in seclusion.

The myth of the lone wolf bravely defying convention and setting their own course in life is vividly imagined in Caspar David Friedrich’s “Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog.” Here, man stands alone at the summit, surveying the lands below. This is the cost of excellence and daring: seclusion and such a terrible transformation of vision that the world is rendered incomprehensible.

While there’s some truth to Friedrich’s symbols, the reality of being separated from the tribe is much more disturbing. Feral children are children who truly grew up outside society. Some, like Oxana Malaya, were raised by dogs. Others, like Genie, were allowed to survive but completely isolated and deprived of stimulation. Rather than producing powerful geniuses or Übermensch, isolation has produced physically and mentally stunted individuals. Rescued from their feral existence, some children will learn to communicate and live somewhat normal lives, but most will be handicapped for their entire lives, relying on the goodwill of the community to eke out their existence. Those left in the wild have a short and brutal life to look forward to.

Seclusion in adulthood is little better, although the effects are not as damaging as when experienced in childhood. Isolation can be so psychologically damaging that the UN considers any period of prison isolation over 15 days as torture. In one UN Report, the authors stated that after 15 days “some of the harmful psychological effects of isolation can become irreversible,”¹ not to mention the torment that precedes a lifetime of dysfunction.

There are cases of monks living in seclusion (although this is almost never absolute), but in many contemplative traditions, extended periods of silence or seclusion are recognized as being psychologically risky, if not outright harmful and to be used in moderation. Another example is survivalists living off the land (although a vast majority of these hermits resort to stealing or parasitizing society to survive). Ted Kaczynski is one such example, although he was damaged by psychological experiments at Harvard long before he sent his lethal packages across the United States.

Another who fared far better was Alexander Selkirk, the Scottish privateer whom Robinson Crusoe was based upon. Selkirk was abandoned when he protested traveling onward with a ship that he deemed unsound. The captain was happy to oblige him, dropping him off on a small, abandoned island 600km off the coast of Chile. Lucky for Selkirk, the island was rich in natural food sources, and he occupied his time with survival, Bible study, and singing hymns for the next four years of isolation. When he was finally found by a passing English vessel, the captain was impressed by Selkirk’s physical vigor and serenity. However, Selkirk is an exception to the rule. Most who endure prolonged seclusion, even on a variable tropical paradise, end up unhinged.

These are extreme cases, but they do reveal how critical having a community is for us humans to grow into the best version of ourselves and endure the vicissitudes of life. Surrounded by a tribe of like-minded individuals, pushed and pulled at, challenged, supported, loved, comforted, spurned, confused, overjoyed, we thrive. Struggling in seclusion, we wither.

In this series, I’ll go over in detail exactly why that is and why it’s so important for pagans to belong to and participate in a group rather than going at it alone. The advantages are as follows:

1. Increased consistency.
2. Accelerated spiritual growth.
3. More humility.
4. More meaning.
5. More protection.
6. Increased satisfaction.
   

At the end, I’ll also cover some general suggestions for working with groups that should be of interest to both new and seasoned practitioners. As a final note, when I say group in this series, I mean a decent group of practitioners. There are plenty of awful groups whose aim is to fleece you, prop up their great leader, or are just bat-shit crazy. Obviously in such cases, seclusion is superior, but most groups are decent. It is to such groups that I direct this.

References

1. Juan Mendez. Report on the Visit of the Subcommittee on Prevention of Torture and Other Cruel, Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment to the Republic of Paraguay (UN, 2010), 185.